My sai you beat me in my dream? Why my dear sai.why?.

I think I was 4 years old then ....It was a beautiful evening ...I am somewhere standing in the middle of a garden playing happily.......a beautiful me in my childhood. Playing around running around....watching everything with inquisitiveness and questioning anything and everything .I was in our garden watching the lawn...The lawn looked pretty green and in different shades. I could see some blue bell flowers as weeds grown in between the lawn...I saw small yellow flowers creeping on the bunds they are tribulus terrestris flowers my father was interested in botany and taught me many scientific names for the flowers and insects. I saw violet and blue flocks in bunches next to the bunds I was enjoying the bird chirps and saw a beautiful dragon...I walked slowly behind the flying insect putting all my effort to catch it....at last getting the dragonfly wings together...tied them up with threads and made to lift a small stone with its foot. of course I plucked the tail of the dragon to make it not to fly...after playing for some time I got up from the garden plucked flowers in my hand singing happily...suddenly I was watching somebody cum near me ....hei It is my sai....saibaba of shirdi...with the torn kaffni and having a long bag on his shoulders...I was overwhelmed with joy I was running towards him with great happiness shouting my sai wait wait ....but all in vain he did not notice me...I ran very fast falling enroute getting up calling him sai sai ...atlast he slowly turned back I was breathing hard and shouting sai my sai He turned back and saw me...No kindness nor liking in his eyes. So morose he look at me. I was bit nervous and did not know how to proceed I was staring at him he looked totally a stranger and starred at me again....I had the dragon tied in the thread in one hand and a bunch of flower collected in the other...I was wearing a lovely white frock and really looking playful and awesome...I liked me for what I was...I was such a pure loving kid....but sai never liked me...One point of time I got scared about him. I thought may be he is not my sai and starred at him trying to move back a few steps away from him .Anybody would have hugged me for what I was then...but my sai moved a step away and slapped me on my face ...I was very much upset...throwing the bunch of flowers from my hand and when I was about to run sai ram came near me told” How dare you entered my garden premises...Sairam was shouting and yelling at me...I was so upset...I wanted to hit him back and shout too but he was a huge and elderly person but I was so small in stature and age and a helpless 4 year child I never liked him at that moment I was scared and started running away from him crying throwing away the bunch of flower in my hand and running away from my dear sai with anger and fear...I hated him for his words and scary personality....I was crying helpless... I could not stand that... with a sudden jerk I woke up from bed my hands were trembling with fear my it was a very happy and a very very bad dream....My sai why were you so angry with me in thr dream?I saw the time it was 1.30 PM ....i was terribly upset and not at all comfortable and My sai has scolded me for me not doing anything...I went on recollecting my actions for his anger...by the time it was 6O’ clock in the morning ,with a heavy heart I got up from my bed .....I never liked my dear sai in that dream.You know....But why did you beat me my dear sai ? That too when I was very innocent four year old child...and why did you shout at me?I hate that moment .i cannot take it as a light dream....But sai I donot have anybody but only you.Even if you hate me I cannot hate you...why my dear sai why?you beat me ....

Aum sairam