Shirdi sai answer my question?

To get acquainted with Saibaba was no where in my life till I was fourteen. He was no where in my thoughts till then. But Today, I cannot imagine my life or my thought process without him. My sai...I can think of only sai and nothing else but his glory. I always think why such situation has arisen in my life. Whatever I think or whatever I do in the mundane or on a purely mental plane his thoughts appear quietly in the background of my mind. He appears in one form or other very near me. Sometimes, with the torn kafni which he was said to be perennially don. That image will remain for long, disturbing my worldly routine. How so ever I would like to separate my consciousness from him, it is not possible, he will not leave me however I am. It is really very difficult to shed him....very addictive. At times I have tried my level best to go away to some other place to get rid of him..in early days. but Impossible it was. Either he will appear in one form or the other either stuck at the back of a car or somebody I can hear calling him “sairam” which will make me turn back. Shirdi sai amazingly loves, very understanding anyone cannot forget him once they experience him. But how come he came into my program? Why did he come? Who is he? Why I cannot live without the thought of this fakir. He is beyond comprehension. He is all in all in my breath and soul. I will die once he leaves me... The day he leaves me is the day of my brain death. But I want reason sai? That is why I asked who are you in me? I want the reason sai...and the reason of my own existence...I know, you know me better than what I know about me....but you have to answer me my dear sai...you have to...

Aum sairam